courtneycrazeee, free, Brunette, young, wild

THE FIRST ROLL. The drug that made me love life

Im not turning to drugs to solve my problems but this entry is what i wrote on my first roll.

The euphoric feeling drips out of my soul, tricking down my face. The bass penetrates my mind, flickering images of happiness. Rolls of thunder come over my body. Shear joy. Perfect moment. I can't stop my emotions running wild in my field of life. I breathe in every second of the ticking time. Orgasms fill my ears. Worries and regret- not present. Paralyzed in my body, enjoying my own personal mind fuck.
Words slip from my lips- tickling my taste buds that flow with rhythm and seductive peace. Blood pumping through my veins, fuming with reality. Tingles overwhelming my state of mind, pusling thoughts of dreams. My stomach is churning with feelings. Raped by my own mind. The sensation of fingertips softly rolling down my skin give me the sense of security and home. Caught up in the chains of music. Wrapping my heart with silk ribbons of euphoria. Contained with love.
Eyes drawing stillness. Spinning worlds align in the hopes of world peace. Sounds intensify this moment. Throat scratches with words of wisdom. My brain drowning in loops of pink fluffy pillows of cotton candy eating away at my sweet vocal cords. My feet walking into stars, blowing clouds of glitter that sprinkle into my heart. Mind. Fucking. Blown.
Withered skeletons of shadows immersed in dead empty hopes. Dreaming of falling out of heaven into a pool of sorrows. I'm crawling under my skin. The hairs on the back of my neck are chilled from the fresh Washington oxygen. I breath in every moment in and exhale regret. Poison slithers down my throat intoxicating me with erotic rhythms of joy.
My muffled cries are heard only by my empty white walls. Sparks of color ignite my intelligence, brightening my vision of the outside world. I melt into my seat, melting into the earth. I am apart of this physical world. The pain of memories swirl in a black hole that I call my heart.
The tips of my nerves scream bliss. My head is sewed to my folds of thought. The ink seeps into the metaphorical page of my memory. Glistening heart beats thump with life soaking in every sensation. My words are trapped in this pen, trying to claw themselves out. The curves of my existence are cloaked in stereotypes.
The thick silence consumes me… barking at me with whispers of ecstacy. The soothing brush of coldness against my warm skin rushes me into a state of inner peace. I've been searching my whole life for a gateway to my emotions. This is it. This very moment. This very touch. This night prolonging my existence. I have opened my mind and found myself within the depths of my darkness. For years I have deceived myself with a fake unhealthy relationship. This blank canvas for words is the pathway to saving me. These cold lifeless fingers graze each key with no intentions of unwritting what has already been written. Life itself has new meaning. I hope that I can wake up each day and breathe in my new life. everything that was impossible just now became possible. I want to live forever young. The lyrics inflate in the air and with every heartbeat I sink deeper into bliss. This is how life is supposed to be lived. No more pain. No more regret. No more worries. Just pure peace.